Dear PRESIDENT ELECT Obama

if that IS your real name.

I see that you are part of the blogocracy. The bloggerment. The esblogishment. I know this because you are firing off letters to 7-year old bloggers. And that’s fine, I mean, I’m not the kind of guy to wonder why you are reading about second-rate Hoth dioramas that feature neither wampas nor tauntauns while GM and Ford stock are about to become the latest additions to the McDonald’s Dollar Menu. We all need a break from work. Me, I am always surfing for scuttlebutt on that dreamy Chace Crawford! What lucky lady is going to land him???

All I want to know is, why are you reading about an admittedly more thorough Lego Exo-Force diorama when THIS blogger has reached out to you on the still outstanding issue of the missing awesome blossom? You were clearly CCed on my letter to the chief asshat at Chili’s. And just because I didn’t actually send the letter, that’s no excuse. You’ve got people crawling all over the internets so don’t play it like you haven’t seen it.

If contributing a cool grand to a presidential campaign doesn’t get me the kind of juice to have you reinstate, by Executive Order (or simply because You will it), the Chili’s Awesome Blossom, then frankly I’m not sure I even want to be part of your new Marxist America. I don’t know what kind of insane fried-onion sculptures they have at Spiaggia, but the rest of us are on a budget, sir.

Sincerely,

Oprah Winfrey

BTW if the kid reads this, the Hoth diorama is actually pretty badass and clearly I’m just jealous.

the trib

Today’s newspaper can’t be found anywhere except eBay, where it is fetching sometimes $100, as though there were a shortage. There’s one born every minute – especially considering that the paper distributed this morning wasn’t the same as the one distributed last night at about midnight, which I purchased about 15 seconds after it came off the truck, and which I have not seen on ebay at all. This is the real first edition of the Chicago Tribune following Obama’s election:

And yes, this makes me better than you.

In other news, I have added a larger version of the picture I used to make the temp banner to the flickr feed.

more on the rally

the blog title has temporarily been changed from the situation has deteriorated. this isn’t really a political blog, and the old title (which will return) really speaks more to the personal shitshow of my life, but I thought this change was temporarily appropriate.

the rally itself was a pretty lame affair. After McCain conceded, there was another sound check announced as “FINAL SOUND TEST FOR THE NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES” except first there was a prayer read by some preacher, the pledge of allegiance led by some Marine (in case you are curious, I tripped up and said “under God,” see this post for more) and a somewhat misguided national anthem sang by some chick. (And I quote: “Whose bright stripes and bright stars, through the perilous time…”). That was the only human activity on stage before or after Obama’s speech.

That’s not to say I had a bad time. It was an incredible event, and for the size and the short notice, it was probably handled about as well as they could have done. I was home by one, but not before buying the Chicago Tribune as it came off the truck on Michigan Ave. I walked home carrying the paper in front of me the way I used to carry the bible as an altar boy.

No, not with a dick in my mouth.

Just you know. Holding it up in front of me.

I’m working on the pictures. I wish i was closer. For the time being, small versions are available on Flickr over to the right.

obama rally liveblog from grant park

12:53 – home after being on my feet for about 7 hours. honestly the rally itself was sort of underwhelming as an event but completely unforgettable as moment in history. I don’t have much to say about it right now. pictures later, the flickr upload thing was a disaster.

10:26 – mccain speaks. This mccain, minus palin, would have won. But he went another way. Mccain:”I am so grateful for sarah palin” some ham in the crowd here: “SO ARE WE!” Ok, it was me.
Warm round of appause as mccain wraps up.

10:05 – it hasn’t been in doubt for a coupe of hours but to see the words “barack obama elected president” up on the screen is still shocking. I don’t think the impact has really hit myself, this crowdn, or anyone yet, although the pace did go nuts

9:27 cnn showed hank williams jr at the mccain shindig, presumably singing “are you ready for obama?” Meanhile there is no live entertainment here and the music is pretty weak- some crapier motown and country music.

9:16 – old lady has lemon hard candy and it saves my life

9:08 – guy with friend in hyde park says obama has left his hyde park home. Still would be a while before he gets here and we hear from him but hoping that it is sooner rather than later

9:00 – nothing but cnn so far. The crowd is enormous. Woman just went past with pizzas, said it took two hours. There is basicay no way to get to the bathrooms or to get a drink (and you couldn’t bring any food or drink in) without basically giving up any chance of being remotey close to the stage. This aspect of the rally was not well planned. But morale is pretty high as everything is going as expected.

8:46 – looked like we almost had a speaker but there were audio problems. Then a guy who looked like a superfan came out and did a bunch of “test one two O-Ba-MA” which was cleary the high point of his life. NM has just been called. It is obvious obama will win, just waiting to make it official.

7:45 – pennsylvania called on cnn jumbotron, mood is very good. Peope are still streaming in. I am not super close to the stage but should be able to grab a decent shot through the sea of arms

7:16- word was that there would be “slighty upscale” pizza. It is connies and it is $40 for a medium pie.

7;11 – first obama chant as cnn checks in with us. Cnn is only channel being shown but word is spreading that abc has called pa and the mood is good

6:38 – getting through security. Foods of people, mild cheers as wolf blitzer reads off early results

ok. hopefully my blackberry will let me liveblog the rally a little from Grant Park. I am moving the flickr in the sidebar up, I will try to send some pictures from my Blackberry camera to the flickr as the night goes on, and then I’ll also have my a700 with me for the good pictures late tonight or tomorrow.

Edit: it looks like it may take a while for the pictures to get to the flickr rss feed but if you click through, they are up there (right now just one picture of satellite trucks).

ticket to history

Four years ago it was in the law library, while “studying.”

Four years before that, I didn’t even really care much, but I remember watching part of it in Willard at NU, and the only reason I would have been at Willard would be to drink.*

This year I will be watching election returns in a mildly more exciting place: with the Democratic nominee and current favorite for President-Elect, at his rally in Grant Park.

Before the rally, there’s some voting to do. I am voting for Barack Obama. Ten years ago I came to college as a conservative, raised to believe that gays were wrong, affirmative action was reverse racism, and that generally you had to look out for number one. I still look out for number one, but I also realize that I’m much better off when everybody is better off. My Republican co-workers are up in arms over the few dollars of an increased tax burden that Obama might place on their already ludicrously high salary; I am more concerned about the fact that our ludicrously high-paying jobs could be in jeopardy if the economy does not improve, and John McCain gives me no reason to trust him with economic leadership. Tax policy, in any event, takes a back seat to issues like the separation of church and state, freedom to associate, the right to privacy, and in general, not being treated like an idiot by our leaders. Is voting for Obama something of a gamble? I suppose, but I do not think it is substantially more of a gamble than any major candidate we’ve had out there in my lifetime.

Anyway. You don’t really care what I have to say about that.

update: for the record, my views on gays, race, and just about everything else my parents told me was true have changed approximately 180 degrees in the last decade and change.

*or chase girls I guess – my girlfriend-of-four-years-to-be was living in Willard at the time, but we would not get together for another week; I remember this because our anniversary was Veteran’s Day, 11-11, which is about as easy a day to remember as any.

lessons from vegas

photos temporarily crappy. i will fix them later, until them check out my flickr.

• If you get a girl hooked on gambling enough, she will forget about wanting to go to clubs, and instead find herself plopping down $25 hard way bets routinely.
• Northwestern is not a “mortal lock” to cover an 8-point spread over Indiana, and the $50 bet I put on them to do so was not, as it turned out, “easy money.”
• You can hit two 4-of-a-kinds and still not make money playing holdem.

• On a related note, I sort of go on tilt when I am big stack. At least I know that now.
• Chicago bloggers are everywhere, including on my flight home from Vegas.

• As my companion and I leave a hold em game, we are stopped by those still at the table to settle a side bet which is how do we know each other? Loser postulates that we “just met.” Girl believes this means that he thinks she is a hooker; I believe this means he thinks I managed to get a girl to leave with me by cracking jokes at a poker table.
• Knockoff casino names for my Las Vegas-themed Las Vegas casino: Smellagio, Skeezer’s Palace, Mandalay Gay, Suxor, Lamingo, Slopicana, MGM Crappy.

bah

Yesterday was video blog day. I considered Rickrolling y’alls but with 2 girls 1 cup. But then I didn’t. Consider it my gift to you.

Work sucks. I’m going to Vegas. Later suckers.

a prayer for special times

♫

Scientists: Virginia shark’s pup a ‘virgin birth’

Hail sharky, full of teeth.

No male has been with thee.

Blessed art thou amongst sea-dwelling life forms

and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, sharky junior.

Holy sharky, mother of sharky junior,

prey not on us swimmers

now and at the hour of floating upside down.

Amen.

yes, i miss this

Keep in mind that the reunion committee turned the process over to reunionteam.com, which is the only party that has ever actually been in touch with me regarding the reunion. So your three hours of open bar at Rock Bottom cost $90. I don’t give a shit but I know that at least a few people can’t afford that. As far as I know, the only actual input from the reunion committee – which as far as I can tell is three people — was to move the reunion weekend to the week before homecoming because one of the three was getting married that weekend. As far as I know, all other reunions at my high school for years and years have been held on homecoming weekend. As though to validate my point, the facebook conversation above continued with two girls chiming in that the event as planned was nowhere near compelling enough to attend.

fashion beat

two observations from the last week.

1. Ladies. A week ago, I did not know that galoshes were back in, as a fad. After spending a weekend on a very rainy college campus I am now painfully familiar with pink galoshes and green ones and polka dotted ones. I am completely fed up with this trend already. Please do not wear them; it makes you look twelve, and not in the good way. (Dear the FBI: J/K!) And please do not refer to them as wellies. If you don’t have a cute English accent, please don’t use cute English slang. They are fucking galoshes, or as my friend Scott said after 12 too many beers, goulashes.

2. Closely related but totally opposite: Non-rubber boots with tha fur tight jeans or tight pants of any kind or tights period or tights with a skirt or with a skirt period: this is fucking outstanding. MOAR. KTHXBAI.