for the public good

I have to take a short break from working on my pro bono case to share this with the blogcinity.

The case is an asylum proceeding, which means my research is mainly cases about immigration law. That in turn means that the case captions I come across are usually something along the lines of [crazy immigrant name] vs. [then-current US Attorney General]. Now I have nothing against crazy immigrant name. I have something of a crazy immigrant name myself. And having such, I’ve frequently maintained that most crazy immigrant names are managable if you just sort of sound it out.

But nothing in my life prepared me for this:

Xhevgjet KLLOKOQI v.Alberto R. GONZALES, Attorney General of the United States, 439 F.3d 336 (7th Cir. 2005)

This is hands down the strangest name ever. God Shammgod has nothing on this.

“That’s a typo,” a friend of mine declared. “It’s like they missed the keyboard slightly,” I agreed. Which got me thinking that maybe they HAD missed the keyboard. So I gave it a shot. Shifting left yielded Zgwcfhwr Jkkiji u (yes there’s a [tab] in there); shifting right got me Cjrbhky L;;plwo. So not a lot of progress there.

Then I recalled the Caesar cipher, which we all remember as kids from like Boys’ Life magazine or whatever, where you shift the letters up or down a certain amount. I found an online shifter set to 21, which got me more gibberish, but I knocked it up to 22 and the skies cleared. Here, I reproduce for you all 26 possible shifts as produced in a handy Excel spreadsheet that I got here and modified slightly.


So there you have it. Xhevgjet Kllokoqi is just a clever code name for Blizknix Oppsosum, who I can only assume is some sort of drunken marsupial supervilliain. OK. So that’s kind of how I amuse myself as I go through life. I should get back to work before they fire my ass.


3 Responses to “for the public good”

  1. MB Says:

    You have too much time on your hands, but this is hilarious. Blizknix Oppsosum. Excellent.

  2. Bubs Says:

    Boy’s Life? What the hell is that? The official magazine of Nambla? I would never read such filth.

  3. assclown Says:

    You’re going to hell? You know that? Good. Nevertheless, I almost lost it reading this.

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