recipe of the day

Sometimes it is hard to think of stuff to blog about, especially as I am reticent to publicize my (failed) relationships with, you know, females. But as I sail through the blogipelago, I frequently find inspiration in other blogs. For example I have noticed that the lady bloggers frequently blog about their cooking, e.g., wife of my law school buddy made something chocolaty with berries. So I said shit, I should do that, give my new readers a little insight, a little taste, a ha ha, if you will, of what it is like to dine at my apartment on a fine near-spring evening. So here we go. This is a recipe that my mom used to make and, you know, it’s just kind of stuck with me over the years, I think it is good to hold on to traditions, you know, pass them down, maybe someday I will pass this recipe down to my offspring, should I break the lifetime streak of failed relationships mentioned above, or, hnur, if something else breaks in the interim.

For my slower readers, that last bit was about condoms breaking, and illegitimate children.

Anyway. The recipe. What is it? I have seen many versions online, but I like to use the one directly below, not only because of its three short steps, but also due to the ancient pictogram format. Pictograms are always a sensible call. “If it’s good enough for ancient Mesopotamians, it’s good enough for me,” is what I always say. Perhaps this recipe comes to us, through the ages, from Gilgamesh himself:


Steps one and two are simple enough. Just boil some pasta and drain it as you normally would. But after that’s done, it’s time for the secret ingredient:


Oops! That’s uranium oxide, aka yellowcake. (Do I need to tell you what the fuck you can do with an aluminum tube?). This is what I actually put in my dinner:


I don’t know how I got those two mixed up! Wacky. Now, to tell a secret, I kind of deviated from the recipe here. I don’t actually have any milk in my apartment because it goes bad quickly. EVERYTHING I have goes bad in my apartment. I could tell you about the Pot of Pasta, but that’s a story for another time (two other times. There was a Pot of Pasta fiasco in law school. This is Pot of Pasta II.) So long story short, there is no milk in my mac’n’cheese. Just butter, pasta, and powdered uranium “cheese.”

Here’s the final product. Not my best work. I overcooked the mac and then I sort of forget to turn the stove off and burnt it a little while i was mixing. I’m sure I’ll get the hang of this after the next 10,000 times I make it.


After a taste test I still deemed it delicious, but what do I pair it with? And what about presentation?


Bon appetit.

4 Responses to “recipe of the day”

  1. Damsel in Digress Says:

    you have hairy wrists.

    oh. and apparently you’re funny.

  2. Damsel in Digress Says:

    (i know this because i laughed)

  3. MRizzle Says:

    You forgot the very impt last step: leave sitting for a few days.

  4. Bubs Says:

    Can you share you Frosted Mini Wheats recipe with us as well?

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