Archive for the ‘i was too lazy to categorize this’ Category

foods that are delicious 2 days old

January 24, 2009

1. Papa John’s pizza

2. Homemade popcorn

3. Babies


what is the saddest christmas song?

December 25, 2008

My vote goes in for Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas.

yes, i miss this

September 21, 2008

Keep in mind that the reunion committee turned the process over to, which is the only party that has ever actually been in touch with me regarding the reunion. So your three hours of open bar at Rock Bottom cost $90. I don’t give a shit but I know that at least a few people can’t afford that. As far as I know, the only actual input from the reunion committee – which as far as I can tell is three people — was to move the reunion weekend to the week before homecoming because one of the three was getting married that weekend. As far as I know, all other reunions at my high school for years and years have been held on homecoming weekend. As though to validate my point, the facebook conversation above continued with two girls chiming in that the event as planned was nowhere near compelling enough to attend.

fashion beat

September 15, 2008

two observations from the last week.

1. Ladies. A week ago, I did not know that galoshes were back in, as a fad. After spending a weekend on a very rainy college campus I am now painfully familiar with pink galoshes and green ones and polka dotted ones. I am completely fed up with this trend already. Please do not wear them; it makes you look twelve, and not in the good way. (Dear the FBI: J/K!) And please do not refer to them as wellies. If you don’t have a cute English accent, please don’t use cute English slang. They are fucking galoshes, or as my friend Scott said after 12 too many beers, goulashes.

2. Closely related but totally opposite: Non-rubber boots with tha fur tight jeans or tight pants of any kind or tights period or tights with a skirt or with a skirt period: this is fucking outstanding. MOAR. KTHXBAI.

until a georgian wrestles a russian…

August 10, 2008

…this will be the best thing I’ve seen watching the Olympics:

A couple of other points on the Olympics.

  • Why do the gymnastics announcers always act shocked when somebody steps out of bounds or falls off the bar? Every time I watch these things 95% of the contestants fuck up. Same with figure skating. But the announcers always act like the gymnast just invented cold fusion out there.
  • Why can’t Fred Roggin look into the camera? I’ve only seen him on Universal HD and USA but he is always looking slightly to the left of the camera, which is admittedly in a weird angle. It’s like he’s talking to somebody in the kitchen. Another question: who is Fred Roggin?

I will probably continue to update this.

  • So it turns out that a Georgian and a Russian were on the podium together in maybe a shooting competition and they HUGGED. Fuck that. This is all backwards. The countries are supposed to be chill and you are supposed to rock their faces in sporting events. See e.g.

high ate us

July 2, 2008

I meant to write up something about the Chicago blogger meet-up, but I can’t add anything to what everyone else wrote, mostly because I was too rocked to remember anything anyway.

I was also going to write up a 4th of July post eloquently stating the duty incumbent upon each of us to preserve the principles upon which our nation was founded.

But then I got busy planning for my trip to Vegas so it’s all in the shitter.

Back next week. You kids have fun. Don’t put your eyes out with an M-80.

the good-bad spectrum

June 13, 2008

in order of people who are having good days to people who are having bad days

r. kelly – acquitted
me – booked a trip to Vegas 4th of July weekend
tim russert – dead

sunday night haiku

June 2, 2008

I have work to do
that’s due tomorrow morning;
I’m playing Rock Band.

i swear to god

April 26, 2008

that two things are going to happen.

1. i am going to start having fun, and not working on Saturday nights, which is what I am doing now.

2. that i am going to update this blog, and such updates will have more, uh, gravitas, than my recent posts about marilyn monroe porn, women pooing semen, and shitting dick nipples. Cubs posts especially are in the works.

i’ve been reading the newspapers

March 31, 2008

Cougar Spotted In North Chicago

Residents are asked to call 911 if they spot the cougar.

I am doing my part, Neighborhood Watch style.


That’s my finger and some venetian blinds, if you are curious.