Archive for the ‘memes’ Category

a tale of two tags

May 21, 2008

I was tagged twice tonight.

The first tag was by Damsel in Digress, who tagged me in a meme. This is the first time I have has this happen to me, but as with my first sexual experience, I’ve seen enough of the internet to know what I am supposed to do. (In further parallel, it will probably take a long time (i was drunk), and I won’t do it that well, but I’ll be pretty proud of the results).

The second tag happened in my softball game. I was rounding second with two outs in the second inning when it became apparent that the throw was going to beat me to third by a good margin. I figured I should slide just for show even though the play was going to be well in front of the bag. I never really got to think about it because yes, the third baseman caught the ball, and yes, he applied the tag, but he applied it squarely to my package. I say package and not nuts or dick because identifying one would mean he missed the other, and that just was not the case. I went down and apparently “barrel-rolled,” to quote a team-mate, onto third base. The good news was my junk had knocked the ball out of the third-baseman’s glove (*points at the ladies and winks*), and I was safe. I actually managed to score on the subsequent hit. Then I collapsed in a heap and almost vomitted

It was not a good outing overall. My other two at-bats were chopped foul for strike-outs, the second to end the game. Added to that, n the bottom of the inning following the groin-tag incident, I took a ground ball to the shin in right field. I didn’t feel it much at the time because I was still recovering from the assault on the boys but apparently everyone including the home plate ump heard it. An hour later, I am starting to appreciate the pain.

Anyway. Let’s see which of these two tags ended up making my night suck more.

Eight Things Meme

Eight Things I Am Passionate About

Right off the bat we are in trouble. Young Pete was a passionate guy. Old Pete has mellowed and thinks that passion is for jihadists and fruits (passion fruits, not gays).

1. Photography – I have stuck with this for about a year now which means it is a much a passion as anything I do. The output is low, but this is mainly because I am very anal about the quality of the shots and what I can do in post-processing, and until I get it the best I can do it, I don’t want the picture printed or posted on the web. A lot of the time, I am not even satisfied with the best I can do, and the picture is chalked up to a learning experience, with the hopes I’ll get it better next time.

2. Beer pong – not really, but sort of. The answer is actually NOT LOSING. I really hate losing. That’s why a performance like today’s softball outing will eat away at me.

3. I don’t like this category. I have things I like. I don’t use the word passionate about anything. I quit. Next.

Eight Things I Want To Do Before I Die

1. Visit Japan, China, Australia, Brazil, and Norway. Fuck Sweden.
2. Play guitar or drums on stage, with a band, and do OK.
3. Take some decent pictures.
4. Figure out why I’m here.
5. Kids? Marriage? I guess I could put it on here. Let’s face it though.
6. Score another goal in soccer, to bring my lifetime total to 2.
7. Improve my personality.
8. Beat fucking Foreplay/Long Time on Rock Band drums Hard. God damn it. DONE (Run To The Hills is now my Waterloo).

Eight Things I Say Often

1. “Anyway, the point is . . .” Hence the URL.
2. “if you will” / “as it were” / “so to speak”
3. fuck and its derivatives. I never realized how much I peppered my speech with profanity until I started working as an attorney. “Your honor, plaintiffs’ legal arguments are fucking retarded” does not curry favor with the court.
4. “sorry about your cat”
5. “Good win.” This is a recent one that I’ve found myself saying after every Cubs win, like there is such a thing as a bad win or good loss.
6. “You dropped your _____” When I was in junior high George Carlin had a short-lived sitcom on Fox. In one ad, an old lady carrying two grocery bags is walking past Carlin when she drops her bags. Instead of helping her pick them up, Carlin says “Lady, you dropped your groceries.” To this day I think this is about the funniest thing ever and say it whenever somebody drops something, which makes me look like a real dick, so I feel bad, and pick it up for them, and explain what I have just explained to you. Even worse is when somebody slips and falls and I say “Down goes Frazier!”
7. Going along with #3, when I feel I’m overusing fuck for its most literal meaning, I switch off to words like “pork” or “shtup” or “boink.”
8. “Pitcher of Bud Light.”

Eight Books I’ve Read Recently
I almost never finish a book. Here’s eight I actually made a dent in recently.
1. Chances Are…
2. IV, Chuck Klosterman. That’s “four” and not “eye-vee,” as a friend of my friend apparently thought.
3. Gary Friedman’s Guide to the a100, my old camera; and my old Black and White Photography textbook from high school. The next book I read will likely be about Photoshop.
4. The Fabric of the Cosmos – Brian Greene. I started reading this after The Elegant Universe (which I actually DID finish), but then I stopped to go back to reread The Elegant Universe to see if I could actually understand any of it. Hasn’t happened yet.
5. God Is Not Great- Christopher Hitchens
6. I am America And So Can You – Stephen Colbert
7. The Alan Coren Omnibus
8. Critical Mass – Phillip Ball.

Eight Movies I Have Seen Eight Times
I’ll start with movies I’ve seen on cable recently that I’ve seen a trillion times.
1. Dr. Strangelove
2. Braveheart
3. Ghostbusters
Numbers 1 and 3 are two of my favorite movies ever. The next three are movies that are not my favorites ever, but I saw about a million times in college instead of going to class.
4. Blast From The Past
5. 10 Things I Hate About You
6. My Father the Hero
Let’s round out the list with two comedies that we all love.
7. Tommy Boy
8. Billy Madison

Eight People Who Should Do This Meme.
Should is such a strong word. That said.
1 & 2. My Drunk Friend And Me.
3. Kenny Havok
4. Gyttja
5. My Pink Shoe
That’s all I’ve got.